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Our amazing daughter

Autism is a diagnosis that can be emotional for parents and families to accept. In our case, the diagnosis needed to be accepted by our family. Our daughter is amazing. She is incredibly bright, sweet, and an absolute joy to be around. As a parent, one of the most gut-wrenching things we experienced was being told time after time, “Your child has challenges, but no one knows why.” In May of 2013, we finally got our answer. Our beautiful girl has a rare genetic condition called Cohen Syndrome that causes intellectual, medical, and physical disabilities. Receiving this diagnosis was bittersweet because we finally got an answer, but we still didn’t know how to help our daughter. With a rare genetic condition like this, there are several programs, specialists, and therapies available that we didn’t even know existed. There are people with resources who wanted to help but had never heard of our child’s condition. It was very alarming for us because even though we were thankful for their help, the process can be anxiety-inducing.

When our daughter was diagnosed with Autism a year ago, it wasn’t a bittersweet moment like when we received her original diagnosis of Cohen Syndrome. It was just sweet! Autism Awareness has been raised, and there are people in the education and medical field who have experience with Autism. I fully accept that our daughter has Autism, but the fact is that a lot of her challenges stem from her primary diagnosis that is rare. I asked myself how this “known” diagnosis could help when you have to take her “unknown” diagnosis into account? The answer was ABA therapy.

Although we have seen AMAZING progress through ABA therapy in our daughter over the last year, the truth is that it cannot be contributed fully to “just” ABA therapy. ABA therapy with the right team is the answer. What makes the right team? Compassion, humility, resource-connected, knowledgeable, and experienced team members. ABA is an evidence-based practice.

We know firsthand that having a team that is compassionate and humble will allow for success. Having a child with complex healthcare needs is overwhelming. We almost always feel like we aren’t doing enough (are we acting more like advocates instead of just being mom and dad? Is our child receiving the right therapies, too many or not enough? How can we balance comfortability for a child whose world is almost always uncomfortable, but also push her to reach her full potential?). Adding ABA therapy to our already crammed schedule brought apprehension. But having the right team, takes the stress out of the equation. We (parents, child and staff) work together on proper goals and time management.

ABA is an excellent tool that I highly recommend families consider, but it’s not the only tool. Especially when working with a child who has a rare genetic condition plus an Autism diagnosis. Other resources and tools may assist families in achieving their goals. For us this meant learning about the objectives as a family together while our daughter was mastering goals. ABA works best when it’s combined with your other resources; (i.e., current therapies in place, IEP teams, community support, etc.) as this helps generalize what is learned. We have seen our daughter transfer the skills she’s learned in her sessions into her everyday life. Our daughter, recently turned eight years old, received a skilled companion dog, and is transitioning to a general education classroom. This transition and the skills that her amazing ABA team teach her have been a blessing to her, and our family. Our daughter has been showing more affection to those she cares about. She’s able to master her goals outside of her sessions and into the community (which I am unable to express how HUGE this is). She is also able to complete her homework with modifications; additionally, she can share who she is with others instead of allowing her diagnoses to define her as others think it does.

From a logical perspective, ABA therapy is remarkable in how it allows children (no matter what the diagnosis is) to learn things that other children may more readily know. From a mom’s perspective, it’s beyond amazing. This process has provided my husband and me with the support needed so we can be her parents, instead of her providers. Partnering in this way gives us opportunities we wouldn’t be able to have without this kind of assistance. There’s a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. In the early days of our daughter’s life, my husband and I would jokingly say it takes a hospital to raise our child. As her health has become more stable, and we’ve been able to focus more on her education and life skills, we agree that in fact, it takes a village to raise a child — a properly equipped village. And we are so grateful that God blessed us with her ABA team as an addition to our village.

– by Nicole

Addressing Aggressive Behaviors in Children

Aggressive behavior is something that parents of children with autism or emotional disabilities are often confronted with on a regular basis. It can be a challenging, frustrating and emotionally draining experience. Through the support of a professional behavior analyst and consistent practices, parents, teachers, and caregivers can address aggressive behaviors in children and adolescents so that they can live productive and independent lives.

Many times when caregivers are faced with aggressive behavior, their impulse is to want to stop the behavior, and they may view the child as misbehaving. However, it’s important to understand that aggressive behavior is sending us a message. Every behavior serves a function— such as making a request, avoiding something, escaping a task or seeking attention. The same is true of aggression. For individuals with limited communication skills, aggressive behaviors can become inadvertently shaped by caretakers and others in their environment.

For example, a child throws a tantrum to gain access to candy. The parent gives the child candy to stop the tantrum. If this interaction repeats itself, the behaviors become reinforced and the child learns that tantruming is rewarded with access to the desired food. Next time, the parent may decide they are not going to give the child candy and so the child tantrums even louder and harder. If the parent gives the child candy, the parent has inadvertently reinforced the behavior. As parents, we all do this in very subtle ways regardless of whether our child has special needs or not, often without realizing that we are shaping our children’s behavior and strengthening the behaviors that are unwanted.

When children are small, it can be less of an issue for parents to manage aggression, or they may think that their child will grow out of it. It is easier to restrain young kids to combat and control outbursts, but if these are the only methods we use, we are not setting our teenagers up for success. It is important to understand why our kids are acting out and what they are trying to communicate. Once we know the “what” and the “why”, we can teach more appropriate means of communication to replace the need for aggression (such as making a verbal request and teaching the child to tolerate “no” when the answer is “no”). If the aggressive behaviors are not replaced by more appropriate functional behaviors, then we run the risk of shaping adolescent aggression which can include physical violence that is more serious and tougher to overcome.

If your child is demonstrating aggression, the best place to start is an assessment of his behavior to understand why the behaviors are occurring. A good assessment will tell you what the function of the behavior is, meaning— why he is acting out and what he is trying to communicate. Then a plan can be put in place to teach new methods for communicating effectively as well as reducing and eliminating the aggression using behavioral strategies.

Here are a few strategies you can use before aggressive episodes start:

  1. Give up some control over the environment or routines by offering choices; it does not matter if he brushes his teeth before changing clothes, but if having control over that routine helps keep your child’s aggression down, give up that control and let him choose. Providing choice also teaches independent thinking and problem solving which are critical skills for adult life.
  2. Prime your child by giving them a verbal “heads up” of what is coming: describe to your child when and what the expectations are for that setting.
  3. Use visual support like a picture board or a photo to help provide clear expectations for each activity or different parts of the day.
  4. Prompt and model the behavior you want to see instead of the aggressive behavior.
  5. Praise that behavior when you do see it so that it will continue to be a part of their repertoire. Remember if you like something you need to let your child know. In other words, catch them being good and if you like a behavior, reinforce it!

In the moment of the aggressive behavior, safety is most important! Do your best to keep yourself and your child safe. If you can redirect your child onto something else or an activity, that might be necessary.

Some parents of adolescents who display aggressive behaviors worry that it is too late for their child to have a fulfilling and independent life. On the contrary, it is never too late to start planning on a future for your child and working towards attainable goals. Think about what you want your child to be doing in a year from now and start working towards that today. If you want your child to ask for the desired item or preferred activity instead of tantruming to get it, start taking small steps now. If you are hoping they will have more friends in a year, start exposing your child to those opportunities and teaching the socially appropriate skills that will afford those opportunities. If you want them to have fewer aggressive behaviors, do not wait a year to start working to improve that behavior. It is never too late or too early to start working towards next year. The results will support your child in having their needs met and experiencing greater success at each stage of development. The ultimate goal is setting your child up for success and helping him achieve as much independence as possible.

-Richie Ploesch, M.A., BCBA, and Ronit Molko, Ph.D., BCBA-D

INSIGHTS FROM PARENT ADVOCATES

As we think about the amazing parent advocates we work with, and the countless conversations with thoughtful parents, itseems like a good time to highlight some common points they have shared.

  • Get Support:  Be proactive about this.  You will need to continuously seek out a relevant support system to help you in this journey.  Don’t expect that your current friends or family members will have all the resources you need.
  • Educate Yourself: What is the current science and medicine for autism treatment?  Connect with other parents and share your collective insights and information.
  • Intensive Early Intervention:  Learn about providers in your area.  How experienced and qualified are their supervisors?  What type of ABA methods do they use?
  • Get Help Strengthening Your Marriage and Communication: How do you problem solve?  Working well as a team and partnership will make all the difference as your family moves through this process.
  • Get Support Preparing for Your First IEP: Learn what you will need to prepare and what your rights are.  Take a friend or family member to have support with you.  Consider finding a good special education attorney just in case.
  • Think Five Years Ahead: Keep looking ahead.  Talk to other parents and gain the benefit of their experience.  Work with a professional to begin conducting job and leisure sampling for your child.
  • Don’t Lose Sight of Community Focus: What will your child need to learn now and later to be an active member of their community?
  • Work on Safety Skills: Be mindful of all the ways your child needs support to be safe.  Not just crossing the street but also learning about sexuality and the related safety concerns. 

Visit the AST Journey Map for more guidance on your families journey with autism.